My wife pays no attention to me. She goes to work, comes home, plays with the kids, puts them to bed, takes a shower, then watches her TV shows, then goes to bed. I feel like I’m her assistant, or her roommate. I feel so angry and resentful that I worry our relationship won’t be able to recover.What can I do to get her to spend time with me?
Join a biker gang. Grow a strange-shaped beard, wear a bandanna over your hair, get some tats, and start wearing leather pants. When she’s zonked out in front of John and Kate Plus 8, put on your gear, grab your brain bucket with flames painted on the side, and say, “Bye, honey, I’m going cane it on the big slab with the guys. See you later.” (Who knew bikers had such fun lingo!?)
She will, at the very least, take notice of you. As my four-year-old can tell you, getting negative attention is better than getting no attention at all, and acting like a jackass maniac is a great way to do it. She probably won’t be too psyched about your new nocturnal activities and will strongly urge you to quit the biker gang. Tell her you’ll stop as long as she starts hanging out with you again.
One other possibility is that she doesn’t want to hang out with you because she doesn’t like you and doesn’t like spending time with you. In this case, get marriage counseling.
See also: http://tochea.com/2009/08/17/his-wife-wont-pay-attention-to-him-either-i-wonder-why/, or http://wp.me/puM8T-bw.
Maybe the wife is a little overwhelmed. I know that when I was working a full-time job and came home from work I had to cook and deal with the kids. I was tired and it was all I could do but sit in front of the TV and zonk out. I loved my hubby, but hell I was tired. You know wives number one complaint is that hubbys don’t help around the house. Telling her you will do the dishes will definitely get her attention
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Ok, substitute the kids (neither of us have or will) for dogs and cats, 2 each. We are both in our 40’s, been married 5 years, and she will have nothing to do with me. Forget sex, I’m talking about flirting, playing, grabbing…. NOTHING! Is she skating along with me just coasting along?
It kind of sounds like she’s coasting along. Don’t you want to know why? Have you ever thought of asking her? Start a nice, loving conversation in a non-confrontational way, and tell her how much you want to connect with her. Women like that. Hell, all people like that. If she’s like, “I don’t know, whatever, what are you talking about,” then maybe you should just tell her you’re feeling neglected and that you’d like to go see a counselor. If she won’t do that, maybe get some books about improving your marriage and see if she’ll read them with you. If she won’t do that either, maybe you should think about why you want to be married to someone who doesn’t want to work on your marriage.