To the people who wander around small towns where they’ve gone on vacation calling everything “cute” and parking your car in the middle of the street because you think the locals are somehow from a bygone era when people could just park their cars wherever they wanted: Screw you.
Archive for July 24th, 2009
Unsolicited Advice #7
July 24, 2009My 20-year-old thinks my house is a dorm.
July 24, 2009Should I kick my son out of the house? He’s twenty years old and home for the summer from college. He couldn’t find a job, so he spends the day sleeping and playing video games and is out all night. Sometimes he brings friends home in the middle of the night and they’re so noisy they wake my younger children, and we fight about it a lot. He’s too old to be grounded and I worry about kicking him out because he has nowhere to go.
You don’t have to kick him out. Make him miserable! Listen to the Spice Girls at 6:30 am on full volume. Have no food in the house except lentils and brussel sprouts. Teach your little kids that Lamb Chop song, “The Song that Never Ends,” and encourage them to follow their big brother around singing it. Give him chores that involve dog poop and weed pulling. Don’t let him use your car, don’t give him money, and “accidentally” spill a diet Coke on his X-Box.
I bet a job will magically become available.
