I met this guy out at a bar a couple weeks ago. He was in town on business, we had a great time hanging out, and I ended up going back to his hotel room with him and making out. We didn’t do anything more than that. The next day, he called me and asked if I wanted to come over and hang out with him and watch a football game, so I did, and the night after that, we went out to dinner.
We had breakfast the next day before he was supposed to fly back home. He said he wanted to change his flight to leave the next day, instead. We spent the day together (I even blew off work) and I ended up staying the night with him at his hotel. The next day, he flew home.
So here’s the thing: I really like him. He’s nice, he’s attractive, and I connected with him in a way that I usually don’t connect with men, certainly not instantaneously like that. We weren’t just hooking up the whole time. We were talking, a lot, and really getting to know each other. He’ll be back in my city for business in about six weeks, and said he usually comes to town a handful of times a year.
The night he got home, he sent me a text saying how much fun he had and how much he enjoyed spending time with me. I wrote back and said I had fun, too, and that I really had a nice time with him. Then nothing. No more texts, no more phone calls. I don’t expect to have a long-distance relationship with him or anything, but I thought that since we spent so much time together, I might have heard from him again. Should I call him? Should I text him? Should I do nothing? And if I don’t hear from him until he comes back to my city, should I hang out with him again and just enjoy our relationship for what it is, or should I move on?
YOUNG LADY, YOU NEVER, EVER GO TO A MAN’S HOTEL ROOM WITH HIM UNLESS YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR A YEAR, YOU’RE MARRIED TO HIM, YOU’RE RELATED TO HIM, OR HE IS GEORGE CLOONEY. That’s how people get killed, dummy. Don’t do that again.
Okay, now that that’s over: don’t call him. Don’t text him. Don’t convince yourself that he’s your long-lost soul mate who’s going to rescue you from your shitty job and your boring life and all the dull, immature, Golden Tee-playing guys you’ve been hanging out with at the dive bar down the street.
After going through a brief period of stalking someone (legally, of course) in my twenties, I learned the following lesson: if a man wants to talk to you, he’ll call you.
This guy hasn’t called, and I’m guessing that he’s married. I’m also guessing that the next time he comes to town, he’s going to call you, you’re going to convince yourself that you’re in it just for the hubba hubba, and it’s going to become a great big mess. Best to avoid it altogether. Anyway, if you really want a guy to just casually hook up with, wouldn’t it be better if he lived nearby?