Comments for To Chea http://tochea.com Online advice for your messed-up life. Sun, 19 Feb 2012 06:16:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ Comment on I want my husband to stop drinking because I’m pregnant. by Pregnant12 http://tochea.com/2009/10/14/i-want-my-husband-to-stop-drinking-because-im-pregnant/#comment-702 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 06:16:49 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=488#comment-702 The comment left above is utterly ridiculous. Obviously it is coming from a irresponsible parent. Did you read the comment about her drinking liquor during pregnancy. I believe cutting down on the liquor is reasonable maybe to 1-2 drinks per week. Or even a drink per day as long as he is not getting intoxicated. He probably is nervous and one drink can calm his nerves. Now as far a partying is concerned,yes, he should cease that completely. Being pregnant is not an easy thing to do especially in the beginning, you at home sick, depressed, and alone only adds to the hormonal depression that comes with pregnancy you need a coach to be at your side. While he is out drinking it up as if he has no responsibilities. This is a joint venture and both parties need to invest and sacrifice equally. Once the baby is born is he willing to stay home nine months while you catch up on your partying and drinking, NO. Know if he wants to invite the boys over or plan an outting that includes you then you both can feel involved, active, and happy. I knew of a girl who guy left her alone a lot while pregnant, and he came home to 2 dead bodies, unfortunately she choked to death. You are vulnerable when pregnant and you should be treated as such. It shows the dedication and discipline that he is capable of, he wanted this so he should experience it with you not watch you experience it alone.

]]> Comment on How do I get my wife to pay attention to me? by Anonymous http://tochea.com/2009/07/20/how-do-i-get-my-wife-to-pay-attention-to-me/#comment-679 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:10:41 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=338#comment-679 Same Boat here, I have a contracting business, my wife works part time. I wake the kids, make lunches, help with grocery shopping meals, home repair and maint., art in spare time, she pays more attention to our dog than me. We are a blended family so that has been an additional stress… things have been this way for the last 5 or 6 years I guess, intimacy is fantastic but I initiate 100% of the time. I would be happy with a garden variety “hello” when she gets home. The only patterns we can change are our own, but I continue to “hope” we will become closer….

]]> Comment on I’m meeting my husband’s ex-wife for the first time. Yikes. by pixie http://tochea.com/2011/05/11/im-meeting-my-husbands-ex-wife-for-the-first-time-yikes/#comment-662 Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:24:10 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=1149#comment-662 I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex – who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect :) xxx

]]> Comment on I want my husband to stop drinking because I’m pregnant. by Katelyn http://tochea.com/2009/10/14/i-want-my-husband-to-stop-drinking-because-im-pregnant/#comment-630 Sun, 11 Dec 2011 02:41:54 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=488#comment-630 I totally agree with this what you have said! I am currently five months pregnant, and my boyfriend loves to drink. I feel left out and alone all the time. Us women are already experiencing many changes in our body as they say we are an “emotional roller coaster”. I feel like the husband/boyfriend should be able to handle a little task such as cutting back on the drinking, after all you are BOTH pregnant. He should be there for you as much as he can and support you through this journey. Is alcohol really worth losing a beautiful strong family? In my personal opinion absolutely not! I think if he loves you and if he wants a family he should try and atleast understand where you are coming from!

Some of these things that I am reading are absolutely Rude by the way! To say that you can’t change him makes sense, but it must not be love if he can’t try a little. A guy should have some sort of responsibilty throughout this experience too!

]]> Comment on I slept with my boyfriend’s dad. And have I mentioned that I’m young-looking? by Anonymous http://tochea.com/2011/11/11/i-slept-with-my-boyfriends-dad-and-have-i-mentioned-that-im-young-looking/#comment-625 Mon, 05 Dec 2011 21:54:58 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=1260#comment-625 I didnt ask this, but I needed to read this. I have lots of problem with being attracted to older men due to my daddy issues.

Great advice: take a good hard look at the roots underneath your love of drama, lack of accountability for your actions, and inability to really care for another person without making it all about you.

I needed to hear this! Thank you.

]]> Comment on My mother-in-law wants to take our turkey on a road trip. by meg http://tochea.com/2011/11/19/my-mother-in-law-wants-to-take-our-turkey-on-a-road-trip/#comment-620 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 17:40:45 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=1270#comment-620 I would love to know how this played out. In my mind, the person who hosts clearly is the person who roasts (or deep fries or grills or whatevers) the turkey. How else is the house going to smell like Thanksgiving? If mom-in-law feels empty somehow the day after Thanksgiving, she can drive her 4+ hours back home and reenact the day in her own house. But no control freaking at Thanksgiving dinner. Holidays are stressful enough.

]]> Comment on Ask Me by Juk http://tochea.com/ask-me/#comment-601 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 02:37:16 +0000 http://tochea.com/?page_id=24#comment-601 I like your idea here. I’ve been slow to realize some people no longer call me cuz of problems in my life. Course most of them did not get married, and even fewer have kids, much less as many as I have, and have a career that is stuck. Bla Bla. So I quit calling them and they will call me once a year and ask why I quit calling them. wth?
Anyway, good luck!

]]> Comment on How do I get my wife to pay attention to me? by Anonymous http://tochea.com/2009/07/20/how-do-i-get-my-wife-to-pay-attention-to-me/#comment-600 Fri, 11 Nov 2011 02:02:48 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=338#comment-600 Got my hopes up after a marriage seminar…thought she’d start calling me while I am out of town. Nada. When I say something she complains about being too busy. Gets to the point where I want to revert to the teenager in me and just totally ignore her and show her I can do without her (yes, in a nice way). But you know what, I do not think anything will change.

]]> Comment on If I can’t have fun while I’m pregnant, my boyfriend shouldn’t, either. Part II. by Ashley http://tochea.com/2009/11/09/if-i-cant-have-fun-while-im-pregnant-my-boyfriend-shouldnt-either-part-ii/#comment-598 Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:46:09 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=523#comment-598 It isn’t fair, but that’s the way it is unfortunately and no amount of drilling it in their heads will make them understand. being a mom is very hard and full of sacrifices. im glad im not the only woman going through this issue. to be part of the group and then dropped bc you cnt do what everyone’s doing and be isolated at home with the toddler. i understand. but the more u make them feel trapped like you do the more they will push away and resent you. so go with the flow and, it sounds harsh, but get use to it. mom’s get the best and worst ends of the deal. no sleep, no time to ourselves, working 24/7, doing everything for everyone and forgetting about ourselves. Unfortunately when it comes to things like this we get the short end of the stick too. hang in there and just think, bc im not partying my baby will be born healthy. bc im not leaving my kids to go out, my kids will spend max. time with me. and bc i love them i will sacrifice everything for them.

]]> Comment on My wife doesn’t pay attention to me. For the third time. Holy moly. by Smitty http://tochea.com/2010/11/17/my-wife-doesnt-pay-attention-to-me-for-the-third-time-holy-moly/#comment-588 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 01:28:10 +0000 http://tochea.com/?p=996#comment-588 Man that’s just like my wife. Pursuing all these music and job interests. I’m the last on the list. Fuck it I’ll go get laid else where

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