Tag Archives: unsolicited advice
Unsolicited Advice #22
To the people who feel compelled to compose a long missive detailing every glorious move made by you and yours over the last 365 days and include it with your Christmas card: There’s a right way and a wrong way … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #10
To the people in the school pick-up line who talk for 20 minutes about Junior’s trouble writing symmetrical o’s while everyone else is waiting behind you with a screaming kid in a hot car and is probably very late for … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #7
To the people who wander around small towns where they’ve gone on vacation calling everything “cute” and parking your car in the middle of the street because you think the locals are somehow from a bygone era when people could … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #7
To the people arguing back and forth on their Facebook status over whether or not it’s okay to feel bad because Michael Jackson is dead: OhmyGod STOP. Facebook is for loving, not for fighting in a weird passive-aggressive way over … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #6
To the person who I have heard TWICE ask non-pregnant women when they are due: Do everyone a favor and never, ever ask a woman this question again unless you see a head coming out of her vagina.
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #4
To the people who say to women, “You have such a pretty face!”: This is so rude. Horribly, horribly rude. Why qualify it? Just say, “You’re so pretty.” Or say nothing, and go sit by yourself in the corner and … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #3
To the famous girl whose name rhymes with Pindsey Pohan: I think you have enough money to retire, move to Montana, buy a nice house out in the country, and go for walks with a dog. Maybe get some alpacas. … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #2
To the girl who’s wearing the wedding dress that comes way too far down in front and way too far down in back and way too far up on the side: You are not Carmen Electra and this is not … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Unsolicited Advice #1
This is a new feature that I think is long overdue. I’m going to give advice to real people who don’t ask for it because they’re too obtuse to know they need help. To the guy who makes grabby motions … Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
