I have enough friends. I don’t want to hang out with my crazy boss.

I have a work-related issue. My boss pays me A LOT of money, but she asks for too much in terms of personal commitments. It is like I am a paid friend and employee. How do I shift her away from this behavior without confronting her directly? She calls 24/7 with no respect for my personal time, and becomes angry if she cannot reach me at all times via cell. I have great flexibility but also a great albatross around my neck. Please help.

I suspect that you’re too scared to talk to her about it, which means you’re a total wuss, which means she knows she can take advantage of you, which is why she’s doing so.

But if that’s not the case, then…

Your boss is a complete mess in her personal life: insecure, anxious, self-conscious, unself-aware, socially awkward. By forcing her employee to socialize with her, she gets to feel like she’s in control and therefore not completely overwhelmed by self-doubt and the deeply-hidden knowledge that she sucks and no normal person would want to befriend her.

If it was understood when she hired you that all that money meant around-the-clock hand-holding, you can’t do anything about it. Sorry. It’s your job. Otherwise, just totally lie. Tell her you have issues with insomnia, and that you’re going to turn your phone off after 9 pm so you can wind down and try to get some sleep. Overcompensate for your absence by being super attentive, cheerful, and ass-kissy during the day. If she gets angry with you over not answering your phone, just apologize. Over and over. Sweetly but firmly.

Also, if you really can’t live with it and accept her after-hours companionship as part of your job responsibilities, get another job. She’s not going to change.

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