My husband won’t put down the damn Blackberry.

My husband is addicted to his Blackberry. He’s constantly checking it and it’s constantly dinging. I’ve asked him before to stop but he ignores me or tells me that it’s for work and that he has to be available. It’s really pissing me off and it’s becoming  a real problem in our marriage. What can I do?

I remember one day when my husband left work early and took me out for drinks and a romantic dinner. The sun was shining, the fragrant ocean breeze was caressing our skin, and I spent the whole time sitting there silently, staring at my fish tacos while his thumbs flailed away on that goddam thing for a full hour. I ended up drinking about 17 glasses of wine by myself and then screaming at him, “I’m going to rip that out of your hands, drown it in the toilet, run it over with the car, and then throw it into the intracoastal waterway where I hope a shark eats it and then swims to Mexico and pukes the pieces out onto the beach.”

I do not recommend this course of action.

In retrospect, a better way of handling it would have been to wait until a time when he wasn’t immersed in checking his fantasy baseball team, going for a high score on Brick Breaker, or actually doing work. I could have said, “Honey, you’re really hot and manly, and I love spending time with you. Sometimes when you’re on your Blackberry, I feel like I’m not getting your full attention, which is hurtful and makes me feel like I’m not a priority to you. Do you think we could agree to designate certain times as phone-free?”

If he’s reasonable, he’ll say okay. If not, I did hear that one time a very clumsy woman accidentally knocked over her water glass at the dinner table and it tragically spilled all over her husband. And his Blackberry.

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