I have a great group of friends. We spend a lot of time together with our children, and get together with our husbands on the weekend. There’s one woman, though, who I’d definitely call a frenemy. She says rude things to me in front of other people, and then if I react she says, “Oh, I was just kidding.” A couple times she’s had parties and invited tons of people I know, but deliberately left me out. I also know she repeats things I’ve told her in confidence. I can’t stop being friends with her because we have the same social circle, so how can I deal with her?
Are you 12? Because if you are, you shouldn’t be on the internet. Turn off the computer and go watch Hannah Montana.
If you’re not 12: ARGH.
(An aside here: besides convincing an entire generation of women that it’s necessary to go into massive amounts of credit card debt so that you can have a large collection of hideous, impractical shoes, Sex and the City’s worst contribution to society was that stupid, stupid word. Frenemy. Ugh.)
There are many, many people in your neighborhood and your town and at your kid’s school. There is no possible way that you’re going to like all of them, so it stands to reason that not all those people will like you. It’s hard to accept, but there it is. If this woman wants to be a dick to you, go ahead and let her. Live your life. Make your own plans. If she’s rude and then hides behind the old “just kidding” excuse, feel free to say, “Yeah, that wasn’t funny.” Otherwise, just tolerate her.
Also, don’t be an idiot. Don’t tell her private things in the hope that it’s going to make your relationship closer. Don’t be all sad and wistful when she tells you about the awesome party she had that you weren’t invited to. Remove your ego from the equation, because really, she sounds horrible, so why would you want to be friends with her, anyway?