My friend is always late. I love her, but she can never be anywhere on time and I’m sick of waiting for her. She always has an excuse of some major drama that made her late, but the whole thing is wearing thin. I don’t even want to make plans with her anymore because I dread waiting.
Chronically late people know exactly what they’re doing. Whether they intend to or not, they’re sending you a message: my time is more important than yours. They’re impervious to lecturing, cajoling, and gentle requests for punctuality. It’s really, really frustrating to deal with, because what can you say when you’re like, “Hey, you’re late,” and she’s like, “My son exploded the cat in the microwave and I was up all night because my husband has the flu so I was exhausted and couldn’t go anywhere without coffee but the coffeemaker is broken so I had to heat some in the microwave and I couldn’t clean it until Target opened because I ran out of Spring Rain-scented Lysol and they don’t sell it at the Grand Union down the street, they only have Citrus scent, which I’m severely allergic to.”
If she’s fun and nice and you have a good time hanging out with her, and she’s worth the hassle, you’ll have to learn how to manage her. I hate when people lie and give an earlier time to meet, because that’s just enabling the inconsiderate twit and making yourself complicit in the whole aggravating scenario. If it’s something that has a set start time, like a movie, just go ahead without her. She’ll show up eventually. If it’s just a general get-t0gether, call her the day you’re going to see her and say, “I’ve got a lot to do today, so I’m going to go do errands before we meet for coffee. Call me when you’re leaving the house so I know when to meet you.” Worst-case scenario is that she gets there before you and might have to wait a little bit.