My sister’s boyfriend is a douchebag.

My sister is dating someone I absolutely cannot stand.  They live in another state so it’s hard to judge how happy she is in the day-to-day relationship.  When I ask how serious she is about this guy – she admits she is not sure.  How much leeway do I have to say, “You’re dating a douchebag”? I don’t want them to get married and have that come back to haunt me or drive a wedge between me and my sister.  Do I have to just shut up and deal with this chump?  He is rude to our parents, bossy, controlling and generally unpleasant.  I am not the only one in my family with this opinion.  I know I should be thinking about HER happiness… but what about meeeeeeeeeee (and honestly how can she be happy with this guy)?

Hire a prostitute to seduce him, have a handsome and sensitive private investigator videotape it, and then have the P.I. show it to your sister so she won’t have to know you’re the one who hired him. She’ll see the tape, be angry at the boyfriend, and the P.I. will comfort her. They’ll fall passionately in love and during their wedding toast you can reveal that you hired the prostitute, and since she’s so happy, she’ll forgive you and you can dance the last dance of the night with the hot P.I.’s hot brother.

This will totally happen. Or else this is the plot of a movie I saw last weekend on Lifetime.

Anyway, here, in short, are your answers:

1. You have no leeway. She’s your sister, not your alter-ego. You know the old saying…one girl’s douche is another girl’s treasure.

2. Yes, you have to deal with this chump, but no, you don’t have to shut up. I recommend the sneaky route. Fan the flames of your parents’ hatred of him. If they complain about the boyfriend, use every opportunity to say, “You know, you should really say something to him next time he’s rude to you.”

3. What about you? YOU are going to be a nice, supportive, sweet sister. You’re going to do what you can to make her realize her full dating potential without her knowing. Talk her up, make her feel good, listen quietly when she complains about her boyfriend, and have faith that in good time a girl as awesome as she is will realize there are too many great guys out there to be dating a crappy one.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “My sister’s boyfriend is a douchebag.

  1. Anonymous

    May I suggest another solution? After pining for your sister for years now, I think the time has come to storm the beach at San Fran and take the bunker. And if there are a couple douchebag casualties along the way, such is the nature of war.

    If you’re willing to accept this mission, I’m in. Let’s make it happen.

  2. Pete

    Great post. I find the difficulties and enjoyment of meeting your siblings’ boyfriends or girlfriends to be fascinating. It seems there’s always growing pains whether you like them or not, but it’s much more difficult when you don’t. I’d love to read more on this topic.

  3. Anonymous

    It looks like I’m not the only person on the planet who doesn’t like my sisters significant other. It seems that your sisters boy friend is a asshole although with my sisters significant other, its worse. I not only don’t like my sisters partner but I hate him and I want him to be punished for what he did. I would do everything in my power to get revenge but I really don’t any power or in any position to do anything and on top of that I am schitzophrenic so that makes it even harder to do anything. when I first met my sisters significant other I didn’t even like him the first time I shook his hand and met him and have heard stories of bad stuff happening with my sister before that he had something to do with. he is a scumbag. Imagine that someone very similar to who you depsised and hated in high school who was your enemy and bullied you and you couldn’t really do anything about it becuase he was bigger then you, liked by many, was on the football team. you even got intoa fight with him. then years later somone similar to that dates your sister and has a baby with him contaminating your blood line and now you are supposed to show love and compasion for your nephiew. well sorry but fuck that. that little bastard is not getting any love or repsect from me and I don’t care what my sisters son of bitch partner , my sister and other people in my family expect. about a year ago my sister broke up with the guy but they decided to raise the kid seperatly. I was actually glad when I heard about the break up but aperantly that still didn’t give my sister a reality check that she was with a total scumbag, not only that but I heard he had a criminal record according to my brother. I have dark thoughts about this like deciding to help my sister raise him according to my princables and ethics and have my nephew be nothing like his father. I even have thoughts about bashing the kid against the a wall until he dies but of course I would never do this. it’s kind of weird how I care about this whole mess but never liked my sister, we never got along and always depsised eachother so then why would I even care about her happiness expecially after the way she has treated me and direspected me in the past. I’m not going to show love to that nephiew EVER, that is the price my sister will pay for having a kid with someone I hate. also my sister will not be a part of my life, she is toxic to my well being and happyness

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