My best friend is getting married at the end of June and I’m the maid of honor. She lives an airplane ride away so we do A LOT of talking on the phone. I just had to increase my minutes! These calls are not of blissful anxiety or excitement. She is stressed, sleep deprived, and making me a little nutty. It’s the in-laws, who I agree after meeting them are not the greatest. The mother-in-law thinks she is losing her little boy and very resentful. The sister-in-law, well, I’m not sure I even I have a comment. The man she is going to marry is wonderful and 40. His side of the family has not even RSVP’d for the wedding.
I am running out of sympathy and comfort. What should I say now as the remaining weeks linger?
PS. I am not married nor to I want to be at this time.
This is what you say:
“Get a freaking grip, Judy! The problem with your in-laws isn’t going to go away once the wedding is over. It’s going to get worse. Much, much worse, because they’re going to get comfortable and take liberties you never imagined they would. So it’s best to learn how to deal with these people now, or else you’re going to have a lifetime of misery. I can’t afford to keep this up forever, so start keeping a journal and call me every Saturday evening from 6-8 and read me your entire week’s worth of complaints.
Also, Judy, try talking to your husband about these issues instead of me. And by the way, I don’t look good in purple sequins, so can we talk about the bridesmaid dress when you get a minute?”
(You could also just not answer your phone.)