My mother and my sister get into these huge fights, and then both call me to complain about each other. I hate being stuck in the middle. In the course of being supportive, I inevitably end up saying something I shouldn’t. Like the other day, I was talking to my sister, she was complaining about my mother saying something condescending about her job, I let it spill that our mom thought she never should have gone to law school in the first place, and then all hell broke loose. Now my mom is mad at me for betraying her confidence, my sister is mad at my mom for not supporting her, and I feel terrible.
If you can do a better job of keeping your trap shut, this is a pretty good position to be in. They’re mad at each other, which means neither is mad at you, which is always good. Plus, you can learn some valuable information that might help you later, should blackmail or extortion be necessary.
Either they’re using you as a pawn in their silly arguments, by telling you things they know you’ll repeat, (like your mom telling you she thinks your sister’s career choice is a poor one? I think she just didn’t have the guts to tell your sister herself and knew you’d do it for her) or they’re just blowing off steam. In either case, just listen. No response. No, “Oh my God, she’s such a bitch, remember that one time when I was eight and she grounded me for spitting in her coffee?” and no “I know, she is a terrible lawyer. Did you know her law school is suing her for ruining their reputation?”
Just listen. No more talking.