I accidentally read my husband’s email. On purpose.

I accidentally saw on my husband’s email account, which he left open on the computer, that he had an email from an old girlfriend. I read it (I know, I shouldn’t have) and it was harmless, there was nothing bad in it, but he never mentioned that she emailed him so of course now I’m suspicious that something shady is going on. If I bring it up, he’s going to know I read his email and he’s going to be mad, but if I don’t ask about it, I might go crazy. What should I do?

You should hop in your time machine, go back to seeing his email on the computer, and think to yourself, “Reading other peoples’ private correspondence is sneaky, rude, and an enormous invasion of privacy and only a complete and utter assface would read her husband’s email without his explicit permission.” Then you should shut down the computer and go shopping and buy yourself a treat for being such an honest and wonderful person.

If you don’t have a time machine, then you should consider your mental torture your punishment for putting your shnoz where it doesn’t belong, and remember this shitty feeling the next time you’re tempted to peek at something you shouldn’t. He’s allowed to have friends, and he’s allowed to catch up with old friends.

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