My ex-husband’s mother died recently. I wasn’t the best wife, and his family isn’t exactly my fan club. His mother was always very nice to me, though, and I’d like to acknowledge her passing. Should I send him an email? I don’t want to call or send anything to his house; he has a new wife and I think my existence is annoying to her.
As long as you don’t enclose naked Polaroids of yourself or write anything too personal or strange, I think sending a card is the most appropriate. Sending a condolence email is a little cold, and a phone call seems generally out of line here. Just say how sorry you are for his loss, and that his mother was a wonderful woman of whom you were very fond.
p.s. I’m dying to know what you did to make them all hate you!