How much should I spend on a wedding gift?

I am sort of an in argument with my friend. She said that when you are choosing a wedding gift, you should base how much you spend on how fancy the wedding will be. Like if you’re going to a black-tie wedding, you should buy a more expensive gift than if you were going to a small family ceremony in someone’s back yard. I thought you just bought a gift because you found something you wanted to buy for the couple. Who is right?

You are, and your friend is a dipshit.

The gift is not your admission price. You spend what you can afford.

You’re not going to the circus (although I’ve been to some weddings that closely resemble one), so a gift isn’t your ticket. Nor are you attending a community potluck dinner, so you’re obliged to bring absolutely nothing to a wedding but your fine self, a date if you’ve been invited to bring one, and any props you might need to do that awesome dance routine that you only do after 15 glasses of champagne.

Think about how mean this is to your friends who have less money. They’re probably the ones who really need the blender and the 12 place settings and the no-stick cookware. Your friends who are having the black-tie wedding are either well-off enough that they can buy their own damn Cuisinart, or too stupid with money to realize they shouldn’t spend $100,000 on a wedding.  They’ll have no use for the present you gave them, anyway, because they’ll be living in one of their parents’ basements forever because they squandered the down payment on a house on some crudites and a crappy band.

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