Can I ask someone to invite my mom to her wedding?

My sister-in-law (my husband’s sister) is getting married. She has asked my son and daughter to be the ring bearer and flower girl in the wedding. We are very excited, but I’m having a problem with my mother. She lives with us, and will chat with my sister-in-law when she calls, and whenever my husband’s brother and fiancee come over, of course they spend time with my mother, too. The problem is that my mother has not been invited to the wedding. She wants to go, she feels like she should have been invited, and keeps asking me to talk to my sister-in-law about it or have my husband ask his brother to invite her. I don’t feel comfortable with this but my mother is driving me crazy about it.

Your mom is kind of right in that she should have been invited. She is not right in pestering you to be rude.

There are a million possible reasons why she hasn’t been invited, (pushy, annoying, and can’t take no for an answer) but whatever the reason, it’s not your place to question it. We paid approximately $1.5 billion dollars for our wedding, in part because I couldn’t say no to anyone. Oh, your college mariachi band is in town? Sure, you can bring them. You recently joined the FLDS and now have 13 sister-wives? Okay, well, I guess so. You’re on a reality show where you have to be chained to an entire baseball team for a month? All right, we’ll get a long table for you.

Please don’t do this to the poor bride. I’m sure if she wanted your mom there, she would have asked her to be. Just tell your mom, as gently as possible, “I don’t feel comfortable asking Judy if she’ll invite you to the wedding. I think it’s a pretty small event, and only immediate family will be there.”

Then stick to your guns, and maybe try to be like this with your mom across the board, especially if she’s living with you. She’s probably bugging you so much because you usually give in.

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