I have a newborn, a two-year-old, and a three-year-old. My husband came home from work last night, got the mail, and handed me a stack of cards with checks in them. He said, “These need thank-you notes.” Maybe it’s the hormones, but I am really pissed. First of all, I’m not his secretary. Second of all, I’m alone at home with three kids all day and I’m not sure when he thinks I’m going to get this accomplished. And third of all, it’s half his kid, why shouldn’t he write half the thank-you notes?
Write this and then give it to your husband and ask him to proofread it:
Dear Aunt Judy,
Thank you so much for your generous gift. I really appreciate it, as will the baby, who’ll be glad that we deposited your check in his college fund because he’s not going to have much money by the time he’s 18. The reason he’ll be poor is that I’ll be poor because I will have been a single mother since shortly after his birth due to a horrible marital rift involving thank-you notes. I don’t know if you’re aware of the difficulties facing stay-at-home mothers who re-enter the work force, but that challenge, combined with my completely useless degree in Art History and the current economic climate, does not bode well for the financial future of our family.
It’s really sad that this whole situation could have been avoided if my husband had only popped his head out of his ass for just a few minutes; long enough to realize that with two preschoolers going apeshit all over the house all day and an infant clamped on my breast every 30 seconds, it would have been awfully helpful had he thrown a girl a bone and written even half of the thank-you notes.
So thanks for the check. It’s really going to come in handy.