My mother is trying to horn in on my wedding.

I’m in the midst of planning my wedding. I’m 25, and my mother is getting VERY emotional about the whole thing. Her latest obsession is that we have something in our ceremony that “connects” our wedding to hers, like a special song or the same reading. I’ve already said I don’t want to wear her veil (my sister wouldn’t do it at her wedding, either) so I think she’s trying to come up with something else to remind her of her wedding. Is this a tradition that I just haven’t heard of? It seems weird to me and I’m not sure I want to do it.

Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. All your mom wants is to feel like she’s part of your special day.

She also wants to wear a long white dress to your wedding, possibly march up the aisle before you do, give your husband a big smooch on the lips, and have her own special mother-in-law cake that’s bigger than yours and has twice as many frosting roses. Maybe at the reception you and your husband can sit down and enjoy your Beef Wellington while your mom and dad twirl around the dance floor to “At Last.”

Whatever her reasons, your mom is trying to make this about her, and we all know it’s not. Maybe, though, you could help the poor girl out. Stop being all power-struggle-y and let her have her reading or song. Take a chunk of her veil and sew it to yours. Tell her how much it means to you, give her a big hug and a kiss, and stop making her beg to be treated like she’s special. She is special. She’s your mom! She’s a little pushy and annoying, but she’s your mom.

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