I think I blew my chances with my crush.

I’ve been silently flirting with a guy at work for weeks–eye contact, smiling, glances during meetings–but haven’t had the opportunity to speak with him until yesterday. I was at my desk and feeling ill, so I went outside the building and sat on the steps to get some fresh air and sit with my head between my knees for a second. Of course while I’m sitting there out comes my work crush. He asked if I was okay and I feel like such a dork because I blurted out, “I feel sick, I’m really nauseous and shaky, I feel like I’m going to throw up.” He was nice and asked if I needed help and I said no, but now I feel really stupid and like I blew my chances because every time he sees me now he’s going to think about me throwing up. Did I wreck it? Do you think he thinks I’m a dork or a weirdo?

No way! This is perfect.

If you had actually puked on him, that would have been horrible, and any chance at romance would be gone. I’m a firm believer that a girl should date someone for at least three months before she vomits on him.

But you’re in a great position right now. You have something to talk about the next time you run into him. He’ll say, “How are you feeling? Are you better?” That opens up a world of opportunity…he already feels concerned for you, so you can be funny and play on his sympathies.

“Oh, yeah, they have really good treatments for ebola virus now. Thanks for asking.”

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you. Turns out I was pregnant with alien spawn, but the gestation period was only two days and the aliens came and took their baby back right away, so I’m good.”

“What are you talking about? That was my twin who almost threw up on your shoe the other day. While she was outside feeling sick, I was inside giving our CEO a long, impressive presentation about our company’s future, and he loved it so much that he quit and now I’m the CEO. Would you like a promotion?”

You get the picture. And if he does think you’re weird or dorky for being sick, then whatever. He’s lame and you don’t want to date him, anyway.

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