Unsolicited Advice #11

To Serena Williams and also to the lady who yelled at me after her husband hit my car on Saturday night: I’m proud of you for using your words, but maybe you should take a deep breath and count to ten before you start in on someone. This will prevent you from saying something insane and horrible that can get you into trouble. For example, threatening to kill someone with a tennis ball or saying, “Didn’t you see the valet tell him to move forward?” is a bad move, because in one case you’re on TV and everyone can see you, and in the other case, you’re the one who pointed out that your douchebag husband drove straight into me, and not the other way around.

p.s. It’s not that effective to scream at someone that she has a shitty car when you’re driving THE SAME KIND OF CAR.

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