I get completely offended when other mothers say to me, “I would slit my wrists if I had to stay home with my kids all day,” or, “I have no idea how you can deal with being a stay-at-home mom. I would go crazy I spent all my time cleaning and doing errands.” It seems very critical to me, and makes me feel like they are looking down on me for staying at home. I know it’s not glamorous, but it’s what I want to do. How do I respond when people say things like this?
If I read one more stupid article or watch one more stupid newscast about “mommy wars,” I’m going to vomit in my sippy cup drawer.
Let’s replace “stay-at-home mom” and “working outside the home mom” with “mom who likes anchovies on her pizza” and “mom who doesn’t like anchovies on her pizza.”
Anchovies on your pizza are terrific…or completely disgusting. I despise them, and I might marvel at the fact that anyone could purposefully destroy the culinary miracle that is a piece of pizza with a salty, hairy fish…but I wouldn’t think less of them. I would think, “There is a person who likes something that I don’t like. It’s amazing how different we all are.” I wouldn’t think, “That person is a moron who doesn’t care about her body or her family or God or who wins American Idol because she puts anchovies on her pizza.”
Respond to people who say that the way you would if you were talking about anchovies. Shrug your shoulders, say, “I guess we’re really different,” and move on. That conversation only becomes a problem when people assume that another person’s difference of opinion directly translates into a judgment or critique of their own.