My husband is trying to cheat me out of a birthday gift.

For my birthday a year and a half ago, my husband told me that as a gift I could pick out a new phone. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I didn’t want to make a hasty decision. I finally decided on one and when I told my husband that I was going to go get it, he said that the offer didn’t stand anymore since I spent the money on something else. He can’t name specifically what it was that I spent the money on, and we definitely have enough for me to buy a new phone without any financial hardship. I think he’s being cheap and trying to cheat me out of a birthday present; he said I should have gotten the phone when he initially told me about it. Who is right?

Before I address the fact that your husband should be the group leader of Tightwads Anonymous, I want to talk about something else: the laziness.

It’s so nice to wake up on your wife’s birthday morning and turn to the lovely, kind, amazing woman who you adore and appreciate and couldn’t live without, and say, “Honey, in order to celebrate the fact that someone as wonderful as you was brought into this world, I’m going to allow you to drive your own ass to the store and pick out something that you already told me you wanted. Happy Birthday, and lucky me, because not only do I not have to actually wrap anything, I didn’t even have to waste a second thinking about what to get you.”

Attention gentleman: I don’t care if you wrap up a freaking rock you found in the driveway; give your wife or girlfriend an actual item that you personally selected for her birthday. In this case, a gift card to a store that sells phones would have been a stellar idea.

Okay, moving on.

You are right. He is wrong. Your husband said your present was a new phone, and you don’t have a new phone, so you’re going to get in the car and go get yourself a new phone. Today. And then call him with it and say thank you.

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