I’m having a problem with my husband. I’m pregnant, and I have asked him not to drink during this time because I can’t drink and because I think it’s a good idea to spend the remaining six months preparing for the baby’s birth. After the baby is born, he will not be able to drink and party, so I think now is a good time to start preparing for our new life. My husband, though he said he would try to do this, has not been trying very hard, and it’s really upsetting me. How can I get him to understand how important this is? My feelings are hurt and I feel betrayed that he promised to do this and then went back on his word.
I’m going to assume that your husband doesn’t actually have a drinking problem, and that you’re just asking him to stop drinking because you’re mean.
Pretty much every dad I know is ecstatic when they find out that their wives are pregnant. Sure, the baby is nice and everything, but the biggest treat is their own personal designated driver for 40 weeks. Why do you want to deprive your husband of this? Are you afraid he’s going to have fun without you? There are a lot of sucky things about being pregnant, and not being able to drink is at the top of the list. During my pregnancies I realized how much better weddings, birthday parties, and Sunday Mass are when you’ve had a couple vodka tonics. Why should he suffer just so you don’t have to suffer alone? I’m sure he agreed to your ridiculous proposal because it didn’t seem like there was any way out of it; you seem a little pushy and controlling. I think you should let him off the hook and relax a little. Let him have fun. His life is going to change soon, too.
A side note…it’s true that after the baby comes, you won’t be able to go out and rage like you used to, but I’ve met some of the most dedicated partyers I know since I’ve become a mom. And they’re all other parents.
*(If this really is a situation where he has a bona fide issue with alcoholism, I urge you to attend Al-Anon or see a therapist immediately. This is NOT something you can deal with alone.)