I have happily been living with my boyfriend for two years now. I’m happy. He’s happy. We’re both happy. So why does everyone keep asking me when we’re going to get married? I either get defensive and say, “We don’t feel like we have to get married to prove our commitment to each other,” which seems to put down married people, or I say, “We do want to get married, but we’re both so busy…” which makes it seem like I want to get married but he hasn’t asked me yet.
I understand if my grandmother wonders, or my dad, but people at work ask, my friends ask, even my landlord has asked. What can I say to get through to people that I don’t know and I don’t care?
“I don’t know. Hey, when are you going to stop talking about it and actually lose those fifteen pounds?”
“We decided we’d get married when I could go one week without some jerk off asking me when we were going to get married. We were just on 6 days, 23 hours. Oh, well. Maybe next week.”
“You cheated on your husband with his brother, and your husband spends almost every night of the week pretending to work late but actually sitting at Stinky’s Drink Hole complaining about you. I’m curious to know why you’re so eager for me to get married!”
“I don’t know, but when the time comes I promise you’ll be one of the first to know.”