My colleague at work and I have a nice, flirtatious relationship. Occasionally at the end of the day before I go home, he’ll give me a squeeze on the shoulder or a pat on the back. Well, yesterday I gave out Christmas gifts to a group of people in our office, including him, and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Later, I got an email from him that said, “I wish we hadn’t been in the office around other people when I thanked you for the gift.” It was only a Starbucks gift card so I’m assuming it wasn’t overwhelming gratitude that made him say that. What am I supposed to say to that? I’ve liked him for quite some time but he has a longtime girlfriend, so I’m wary. What do I write back, or what do I say when we get back to work on Monday?
I was so with you. I was all excited for you! I was going to tell you, For Pete’s sake, call him up this instant and invite him over for some egg nog and a nuzzle!
But now I’m going to tell you to run far, far away. In one sentence he went from being cute and flirty to being smarmy and dishonest. It’s Christmas time, and while everyone else is thinking about love and happiness and Jesus and fruit cake, that douchebag is taking a gift certificate for a latte and turning it into an opportunity to feel up a chick who isn’t his girlfriend.
Don’t be that girl. If the two of you are meant to be together, he’ll break up with his girlfriend. A reasonable amount of time later, he’ll ask you out to dinner, and you’ll go have a lovely time. Good relationships don’t start with a suggestive email sent under dubious circumstances. So: don’t say anything about it. Don’t write back. Don’t let him rub you or squeeze any part of your body in any office or other place. Stay away. He sucks.