To stay with mom or not stay with mom. On the floor. When I live only an hour away. That’s the question.

My brother and his husband usually come to my mom’s house for Christmas Eve and spend the night. She lives in New Jersey and they live in New York City. This year they really want to go back to their own place on Christmas Eve, partly to celebrate together in their own home, but also because they have to sleep on the floor in my mother’s house and it’s not very comfortable. But my mother is giving them grief that she will be left all alone on Christmas morning and would instead be left worrying about them driving. She is pretty irrational. Would you give in if you were them?

I understand your mother’s fear.

New Jersey is an exotic, far-away land. The trip from the city to Jersey is exhausting and rife with danger. There are, for instance, New Jersey drivers to contend with. There are also tunnels, bridges, and the Turnpike. But I’m sure that two grown men, with a little hard work, luck, and a little moxie, can make the trip on Christmas Eve, along with a million other people, with a minimal amount of hardship.

I think secretly your mother worries less about the driving and just plain old doesn’t want to be alone on Christmas Day. Is it possible for your brother and his husband to pick her up and bring her to their place for Christmas? Or could you convince them to buy a super comfy air mattress, bring a down comforter, and pretend they’re camping? Or could you go see your mom?

In short answer: yes. I would give in if I were them. It’s only one day. And it seems like it would mean a lot to your mom.

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