He dumped me but now he wants to get together for drinks.

About a month ago, “Dave” broke up with me. We had been dating for almost a year, and I thought everything was going well. One night, out of the blue, he told me that he liked me but didn’t see himself falling in love with me, that it was over romantically between us, and that he would really like to be friends.

I was devastated, because I really liked him and because it seemed to come out of the blue. I had no clue this was going to happen until it did. Right after we broke up we talked a couple times, but I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep talking because I wanted some time to get over him. A couple weeks went by, and then the other day I was online and he started instant messaging me and asking if I wanted to get together some time for a drink.

I am excited that he wants to see me because I think he might want to get back together, but I don’t want to go out with him again only to have him break up with me again. Should I stay away or take the chance that it might work out for good this time?

I don’t know you or Dave, but I’m fairly certain I can tell you exactly how this whole thing will pan out. There will be endless rounds of calling and getting together and texting and making out and tequila drinking and breaking up and crying and calling your friends and wailing, “Why me? Whyyyyy meeeeeee?” and they secretly will be like,  “I’m so sick of her whining about that useless idiot, I think I’m going to stop answering her calls,” and then you’ll be all alone in this world and even your mom who loves you dearly is going to go into a post-traumatic stress disorder kind of paralysis every time she hears the name “Dave” because you’ve tortured her with all the wah wahing.

If Dave wanted to get back together with you, he would call you and say, “I made a mistake. Please take me back.” Or he would send you flowers or write you a poem or show up on your lawn in a trench coat with a boom box and a Peter Gabriel song. Since he hasn’t done any of these things, let’s assume he wants to sleep with someone and called you because he knows you don’t have any creepy-crawlies in your special area and with a couple woo-woo shots he could get you to say yes.

Do you really want to put yourself through this? No. Take him off your buddy list and your phone and your Facebook friends and your FedEx account and your life insurance policy, and move on. Resist. Take up karate and pretend you’re kicking him in the head repeatedly. Do whatever it is you have to do, but move on.

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