Can I lie to my husband about a teeny little dent I got in his car from hitting a teeny little pole?

My husband is away on a work trip, and yesterday I accidentally drove into a pole in a parking lot with his new car. What makes this even worse is that we just got it back from being repaired because I got into a small fender bender. I feel horrible about it and I know he’s going to be mad at me. Should I just lie and tell him that someone hit me while the car was parked somewhere? He’ll never know the difference and it would definitely make my life a lot easier.

Most of the time, I have no idea what I’m talking about. But today is your lucky day: you’ve asked a question that taps into my core area of experience and expertise: smashing into things with the car.

One time, in my husband’s brand new car, I hit a lawn mower and scraped it all along the car door, and then in a panic drove in the other direction, still scraping against the lawn mower. Another time, I did an amazing three-point turn in a parking lot where I managed to smack into FOUR cars before peeling out in a panic and driving right over a two-foot curb while I fled. I’ve hit my mailbox, my neighbor’s mailbox, a miniature pony, a gigantic boulder, an 18-wheeler, several pets of varying sizes, a wide variety of fences, poles, and garage doors, and several very sturdy people.

While my accidents have varied in scope, size, and time spent in the emergency room, one thing remains constant: I confess. I leave notes, I give out insurance information, I offer to replace the hamster I just flattened. I hit the boulder driving a friend’s car (see, you thought I was kidding about the boulder, didn’t you?!), and even though I REALLY didn’t want to, I told her about it. I tell my husband about it every single time–even though we were living in the city for a good chunk of time and I totally could have passed it off as other peoples’ faults.

It’s not cool to lie to your husband. Part of being a grown-up, and a HUGE part of being a good spouse, is being able to admit when you messed up.

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