The only thing worse than stealing someone’s husband is stealing her babysitter. Actually, the babysitter stealing is kind of worse.

I did my friend a FAVOR and gave her my babysitter’s number for a one-time emergency situation. Over time she has slowly but surely started calling her more and more, and recently my sitter wasn’t available when I needed her, and I later found out she was babysitting for my friend that night. THEN I find out that my friend is paying the babysitter more, so of course she is going to sit for her instead of me. Is it me or is this completely rude and underhanded? I am SO annoyed and I’m ready to bring it up with my friend. What is the best way to do this?

No one knows my babysitter’s name. I make her drive a car with no license plates, and she wears a president’s mask like the guys in Point Break when she walks from the car to my door. She doesn’t come out in public with me, I would rather die than bring her to the playground or a birthday party, and I don’t even have her cell number in case I get drunk one time and give it to a friend while my defenses are down. We communicate through smoke signals. When we’re out with friends and they say, “Who’s watching the kids tonight?” I scream at them, “NO ONE. No one is watching the kids. Stop asking me really personal questions or I am going to fucking FREAK OUT.”

Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do. You can’t blame your babysitter for taking the job that pays more. You can offer to give her more money, but if I were you, I would just find another awesome babysitter and keep her in a Witness Protection Program-like setting.

As for your friend, don’t bother bringing it up. Consider this a good lesson learned. She knows what she did, and she probably doesn’t feel bad about it. Everyone knows: all is fair in love, war, and babysitting.

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1 Comment

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One response to “The only thing worse than stealing someone’s husband is stealing her babysitter. Actually, the babysitter stealing is kind of worse.

  1. Stacey

    I’m totally in this situation right now, and you just made me laugh my way out of it. I don’t have an answer, but thanks for a hilarious read!

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