After all wedding-related expenses, I can afford to get them a piece of gum as a gift.

My best friend is getting married in Europe. I have to spend over $1500 on the plane ticket and hotel, plus $300 on a bridesmaid dress. I have been saving for the trip for quite some time and am very excited, but I am slightly concerned about how much I should spend on a wedding gift. After the dress and shoes and travel expenses, I don’t have much left over. How much should I spend to be respectable but not break the bank?

My best friend went overboard; she helped my sister plan a lovely shower, made a hideous seven-hour drive to be at my wedding, had to get her dress made from scratch because she was pregnant, and came to my wedding about six weeks before giving birth. For a wedding gift, she gave me a hand-held blender that cost about $20, and I was MAD. Why was I mad? BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT HER TO GET ME ANYTHING.

This is because she’s my best friend, and I felt terrible about inconveniencing her and all the money she had to spend to come to my wedding. I didn’t want her to spend a penny more. I assure you, any best friend who makes you fly all the way to a different continent for her wedding and then thinks you’re cheap for not getting her is not a bff. She’s your bdf. Biggest douchebag forever.

I’ve addressed this before but people keep asking, how much should I spend on a wedding gift/shower gift/birthday gift/engagement gift/retirement gift/congratulations on your gender reassignment gift. And the answer is always the same. If you can’t afford to buy yourself a $200 crystal picture frame, why on earth would you buy one for someone else? Spend what you can afford. Think of something you know the person will like, and I guarantee you they’ll love it.

See also: https://tochea.com/2009/07/21/how-much-should-i-spend-on-a-wedding-gift/

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “After all wedding-related expenses, I can afford to get them a piece of gum as a gift.

  1. Pingback: How much should I spend on a wedding gift? « To Chea

  2. meg

    I married on a different continent (my husband is from a different country on the same continent where we met and married, but nowhere nearby … it’s complicated), and I was absolutely thrilled when three of my college friends made the effort to fly over – one was still breastfeeding, so she toted her babe, too. Having them there was more than a great gift. They took time from their families, their jobs, to be with me when I wed my best friend. I’ll never forget it. You are your gift. Don’t buy a second one.

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