Unsolicited Advice #18

To the people who end up at To Chea because they’ve done a Google search for “pregnant and can’t stop drinking”: Normally, I like to be funny about peoples’ problems, because most shitty things in life are generally also kind of funny, and joking about them makes life more bearable in general. But this, I’m afraid, is not funny, and I really am worried about you. It makes me heartsick to think that you’d like to stop drinking for the sake of your baby, but you can’t. I love a good jug of Chardonnay as much as the next girl, but please, pleasepleasepleaseplease, if you can’t stop, then it’s more than just a small issue: go talk to someone. Talk to your doctor or your priest or your husband or boyfriend or sister or a therapist or go to Planned Parenthood or Alcoholics Anonymous. No one is going to judge you. They want to help you. You don’t have to deal with this all by yourself.

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