My husband’s cousin is getting married on the day of our one-year anniversary, and we have to go to the wedding. Am I wrong for thinking this is weird? We had a modest wedding, and this is going to be an over-the-top affair and I can’t help but feel like it’s going to be compared to ours, and it will remind me of all the things about that day that I wanted and couldn’t have. I know I can’t get out of going, but really…don’t you think they could have picked another day?
Of course they could have! Everyone knows you own that whole day until the end of time, and that no one can ever get married on that date ever again. Even I know that, and I don’t even know who you are or when you got married.
I’d yell at you for being ridiculous, but I don’t think this is about the wedding date or your one-year anniversary. I think it’s about jealousy. I suspect that your husband’s cousin has 42 ice sculptures and is wearing a diamond tiara and a dress woven from silver kitten hair, and that you just had a plain old dress and a plain old reception with plain old cake at your plain old WEDDING which you should be HAPPY ABOUT because it was the day you pledged your true love forever to your husband.
Granted, I’ve been married for six and a half years, and I’m still annoyed at my husband and at the crappy band he chose for our reception, but I’m assuming some day I’ll get over it. And I don’t get all weepy and enraged every time we go to a wedding that has a great band…although I have been known to elbow him sharply and hiss, “See? That’s the kind of band I wanted. They’re so much better than ours and I hope you’re SORRY,” at which point he rolls his eyes and wishes I had been electrocuted by our crappy band’s amplifier mid-reception.
Go to the wedding, wear a cute outfit, drink a lot of champagne, dance, and have fun. Enjoy your family, and be happy for your cousins-in-law. This is why we go to weddings—not to compare and lament and feel inferior, but to celebrate the whole point of a wedding: love and happiness.