My boss wants me to look at pictures of butts online.

I work for a plastic surgeon, managing the office and doing some advertising-related things. He recently asked me to look online and come up with some pictures of calves that we could print out and use in a book for our patients, so they can see possible results. Then he asked me to do the same with pictures of buttocks. I don’t feel comfortable with this. I want to keep my job, since it’s a good one, but I don’t want to accidentally end up looking at dirty pictures online. What would you do?

First, I would hope and pray that my boss doesn’t add vaginoplasty or penis enlargement to his list of services offered. Then I would probably start looking for a new job.

But since jobs are hard to come by, you might decide you have to do it anyway. In which case I recommend choosing your words very carefully. Like, instead of typing “tight ass” into Google, you might want to search for “buttock lift plastic surgery” or just go to People magazine online and look for photos of celebrities in bikinis. And you know boobs are coming next, so instead of “hot jugs,” perhaps you could search for “breast augmentation before and after” or something like that. (Please note: I haven’t done any of these searches, so if they inadvertently lead you to porn, I’m sorry, and please don’t write back and yell at me.)

Here’s the thing, though: you feel uncomfortable. Every woman I know, including myself, has had that jackass boss who repeatedly toes the inappropriate line but doesn’t quite step over it. (I’m talking to YOU, former boss who used to tell me I would make more money working for a phone sex hotline and that you would be my first and best customer.) It sucks, it’s wrong, and there’s no reason for you to feel pressured in that way at work. I don’t care if you’re Amish and this is the first job you’ve ever had that involved electricity, or if you’re an ex-stripper who made the move to an office job. Uncomfortable is uncomfortable, and a skeevy feeling can’t be denied. There’s no reason for you to do this if you don’t want to; I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say to him, “Dr. Dick, if you send me some links, I’m happy to print out the photos and make a great book for you, but I just don’t feel comfortable looking for those pictures myself.”

And aren’t there books like this that exist already, anyway? I’d be freaked out to go to a plastic surgeon who printed his possible results off the internet.

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