I’m the breadwinner and I don’t like it.

When I first married my husband, he was working full-time. After a year, he got laid off and decided to go back to school to finish his bachelor’s degree. It will take him at least another two years, since today he found out it may take longer due to class scheduling issues.

I support us financially and will need to do so until he finishes his degree. He works part-time to help out a little with bills. I don’t have any other friends in this situation, so I’m curious if any other women out there support their husbands financially while they finish school. Is this common? I feel bad because I keep pressuring him to hurry up and finish, but it takes a long time. We have had several fights over this, mostly regarding the fact that I am supporting him and it is stressful.

The man is going to school full-time in order to provide better for your family in the future. He’s also working part-time to pay some of the bills. What else would yo like him to do? Maybe he could develop a meth habit so he can stay up for like six days at a time so he can get a full-time job and then do his homework at night while he’s twitching instead of sleeping.

I can’t figure out what your problem with him is. You’re stressed out because you don’t want to be the breadwinner? You want him to hurry up and become the breadwinner so he can be stressed out instead? 1950 was over about, oh, sixty years ago, so unless you were able to buy a time machine with your breadwinning salary, you can’t go back to the good old days when your husband provided for you and you stayed home with no birth control and 47 kids and Dora the Explorer (aka Dora the Babysitter) hadn’t been invented yet.

Marriage is a partnership. Sometimes, you have no job and no money and he takes care of you, and other times, he has no job and no money, and you take care of him. Sometimes, you both have tons of money and then you go to Aruba. Other times, neither of you is making any money, and you eat Ramen noodles under a pile of blankets so you don’t have to turn on the heat. This is life. Be nice. Deal with it.

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