My husband cheated on me, and I left him. I broke apart our family, and sometimes I look at our daughter and think I should have tried harder to forgive him. I just couldn’t do it, and I know that our relationship would never work because of that. I just feel so guilty, and I do love him still. This whole situation sucks, and I feel like if I hadn’t been so inflexible about our relationship being over, our daughter could grow up with her family intact. Should I try and give him another chance, even though I know in my heart it won’t work? How can I stop feeling so guilty and bad?
You didn’t break apart your family. Let’s get that out of the way, first of all. Your ex-husband broke apart your family when he dipped his spoon into someone else’s Nutella jar.
I’m not saying that all marriages should break up if one person cheats, and I’m not saying that you should give your husband another chance. What I’m saying is that your ex-husband set this locomotive in motion, and that by honoring your instincts as a wife, mother, and woman, you’re taking care of yourself and your daughter the best way you know how, and that’s enough. It’s more than enough, actually. There are plenty of women who would stay in the marriage and then be so bitter, resentful, and angry that their husbands eventually wish that instead of having sex with another woman, they had cut their penis off and thrown it into the icy waters of the St. Lawrence seaway. So yay for you for going with your gut, and for not taking any shit, and for being a good role model for your daughter.
Give yourself time, let yourself have a little fun, and enjoy the fact that there’s no one who lives in your household who’s genetically programmed to leave the toilet seat up and despite the increased surface area of the toilet hole, still pee all over the seat. You’re going to be fine.