How can I tell what’s a deal-breaker, and what I can tolerate?

How can I figure out which characteristics in a person are deal-breakers, and which are things I can (or should) learn to live with? For instance, what if someone isn’t a great kisser? Or what if this person texts me too much? Stuff like that. How do I know what I’m being overly picky about, and what I should stick to my guns on?


expels gaseous fumes from his/her body in front of you before you’ve been dating for a year
microwaves leftover fish in a Tupperware in his/her office
says disparaging things about feminism and/or feminists
doesn’t like the tv show Arrested Development or Led Zeppelin
hates your mother
is mean, rude, abusive, violent, or controlling
likes the band Nickelback or books written by Nicholas Sparks

Let it go:

bad kisser (you can show him/her how to do it how you like it!)
likes The Carpenters or reality TV shows about people living on islands
writes bad poetry
used to be a man or woman and isn’t anymore
prefers Reese’s Pieces to M&Ms
drives a shitty car

Well now, look at that. A list that appears to be totally arbitrary, but means something to somebody. I guess it’s up to you what you can live with, and what you can’t tolerate. Just be your true, real self in a relationship, and don’t compromise on what’s important to you. And anyway, when you find someone you’re head over heels for, you won’t even be thinking about deal-breakers. You’ll think everything he or she does is absolutely amazing…at least for a little while. And then it’ll be too late. That’s how they get you!

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