I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum. How long do I have to wait for him to call me back?

Let’s pretend you and your boyfriend got into an argumentative sort of discussion. In the heat of the conversation, you gave him an ultimatum and told him you either had to get engaged soon or break up. Now let’s pretend he said, “I’m going to have to think about that,” and then didn’t call you for two days. How long would you give him before you called him?

I’d call him after one day; I can’t believe you even waited longer than three hours. But I wouldn’t have been calling him to be like, “Hey, buddy, so…have you made up your mind about the whole spending-eternity-with-me thing?” I would have been calling to say, “Hey, jacknugget, no need to worry about deciding whether or not you want to get engaged, because I just got engaged to a large bottle of vodka and a road trip to Vegas with my friends to celebrate my freedom from you.”

I’m sure you’re regretting the ultimatum. It was kind of a dumb thing to say in the middle of a fight, but there it is. You threw it out there because you meant it. You’re sick of waiting for him to commit. So you said it, and by not calling, he’s giving you an answer. I think if you want to marry someone who loves and respects you, you’re lucky you got in a fight and gave him an ultimatum, because he’s showing you who he really is.

Even if he didn’t want to get married, the right thing to do would have been to discuss it right away (or at least as soon as he cooled down from your fight), not make you wait for a couple days. I’m generally against ultimatums, but in this case, even though it didn’t quite work out the way you wanted, it worked out for the best.

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