He loves me so much he doesn’t want to see me!

I was dating a younger guy for a while, and then we broke up because he said he is in love with me but isn’t ready for a commitment. We’ve been apart for a few months, and he calls me pretty regularly, but when I suggest we get together, he refuses. I’m really crazy about him, he says he’s in love with me, but he also says he’s not ready to settle down yet and that it would be too hard to see me. How do I proceed? I’m gay, if that matters.

It doesn’t matter, because a dick is a dick, no matter if he’s a man or a woman or dating a man or a woman. And I know you love him and he’s cute and calls you a lot and makes you feel good when he gives you attention, but a person who cares about you would be respectful of your feelings.

I don’t know if he’s going for the ego boost he gets when he calls you, or if he’s keeping you on the back burner in case whatever he’s got going on right now doesn’t work out, but he’s stringing you along.

I think you should forget about him. Don’t take his calls, don’t text him back at three in the morning when he’s sending you naughty pictures and suggestive texts (I loathe the term “sexting” and have decided I will never again say or write it unless I am declaring verbally or in print how much I despise the term “sexting”), and generally try to live your life as if he doesn’t exist. He’s unreliable, and in my experience, unreliable people don’t become better over time, they just get worse.

Some day in the near future, when you’re dating someone who calls you all the time because he likes you and wants to spend time with you, you’ll be like, That other guy was a douche. This is what I deserve, not that other bullshit.

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March 8, 2012 · 4:55 pm

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