Why do I stay with this man? He is constantly commenting on how I’m not like his ex-wife (who left him for another man, by the way). If we go to a party, he will say, “‘Jenny’ would have worn a more formal dress than what you’re wearing,” or if I make him a sandwich he will say, “Jenny used to put mayonnaise on both pieces of bread.” We have only been dating for six months, and he’s pretty nice otherwise, but this drives me crazy. He says that he loves me, and I know he is very sensitive about being dumped, so I feel bad that part of me wants to end it. The thought of hurting him makes me feel terrible, but his constant comments about Jenny are getting to be too much.
I’m sure loverboy has a picture of Jenny somewhere in his house. I think you should steal it, enlarge it, cut out Jenny’s face, tie some elastic around the ears, cut out some eye holes, and make yourself a Jenny mask. Then you should strap it on your face and go up to your boyfriend and say,
“You’re such a nice guy, and I know I was a perfect wife aside from the fact that I cheated on you, broke your heart, and left you for another man, therefore leaving you wounded, vulnerable, and incapable of trusting another woman. But you really need to move on and let your amazing new girlfriend show you how a loving, functional relationship works. Or else she’s going to go find someone else who has everything you have, plus the added bonus of not constantly comparing her to his ex-wife. And p.s., no, I won’t make out with you while I’m wearing this.”