My dad wrote a book and I don’t want to read it.

My father wrote a book and is self-publishing it. I am proud of him, but the book’s plot centers around religious beliefs that I don’t share. I don’t want to read this book, and I don’t want to talk to him about it. He sent me a copy and is waiting for my response. How do I tell him in a respectful way that I have no intention or reading it, let alone discussing it?

I think you’re working on some sound principles here. There is absolutely no reason in the world to read a book about a subject that you don’t agree with 100%. For instance, I read half of a book about Mormons, realized I wasn’t a Mormon, and put it down. And then I read like one page of this scary book and loved it until there was a ghost in it, and I don’t believe in those, so I threw that book right in the garbage. Same goes for books that contained incidents of adultery, murder, and children who participate in beauty pageants. I don’t believe people should do those things, so I don’t read about them! So now I only read books about chocolate chip cookies and free overnight shipping, because I believe wholeheartedly in the power of both of those things.

Dude. It’s your dad. He wrote a book. Grow the f up and read it, you big assface.

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