It’s wedding season again!

My friend is getting married and wants my four-year-old daughter to wear a white dress for her flower girl outfit. I don’t want to buy something my daughter is only going to wear once. What can I do?

Let your daughter wear it more than once.

My sister scheduled her wedding for the same day as our brother’s birthday. He is very upset. I don’t want to get in the middle of this. What can I do to smooth things over between them?

Don’t do anything! Are you nuts? If they call you and bring it up, hang up the phone, immediately. If they bring it up in person, stab yourself in the eye with your fork so you can go to the ER and not have to discuss it. I repeat: do NOT get involved.

My mother is freaking out because I haven’t gotten my wedding dress cleaned professionally and stored in one of those special boxes. We are trying to save for a house and I really would rather spend the money on that than on paying a lot to get my dress cleaned. Should I do it? Do I need to do this?

If you have your dress professionally cleaned, you’ll miss out on all the fun. I use mine as a Fat-O-Meter (currently, I can’t zip it up, but I’m working on it…the baby is two, it takes a long time to lose all that weight…); sometimes I serve the kids breakfast in it, which is very glamorous; a couple weeks ago, my friends and I had some drinks (and by some I mean a lot) and dressed up in my wedding and prom dresses, which was really fun. If the dress is in a box, you don’t get to do that! Also, your daughter won’t want to wear it, because in thirty years your wedding dress will be ugly, and in sixty years, your granddaughter won’t want to wear it, but will want to chop it to bits and use the remnants to make special wedding underpants for herself with the fabric, so you might as well enjoy it.

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