My daughter and I fight about her clothes. And she’s only eight.

My eight-year-old daughter and I fight every single day over what she’s going to wear. I get very frustrated because she asks me to help her choose, then fights with me over the things I pick out for her. Help me. I’m sick of fighting every day!

One of my children is really, really into pajamas. He wants to wear them everywhere. He wears them to the grocery store, he wears them to birthday parties, he wears them hiking and boating and one time he even wore them out to dinner underneath his regular clothes. Then he gets mad when people ask him why he’s wearing his pajamas in the middle of the afternoon in the mall.

He’s not allowed to wear them to church or school, but other than that, I don’t care. I’m over it. If you’re sick of fighting with your daughter, then don’t fight with her. Make some rules together about what she can wear to certain occasions (underwear always underneath her pants, not on top; bathing suits only when there’s more than a foot of water in the foreseeable future, etc.) and then let her pick. Who cares if she’s wearing plaid and stripes and a tiara and soccer cleats? She’ll learn, once she gets to school and can’t play soccer without her tiara falling off, that it might be better left for days when she’s sitting around ordering her subjects to make her toast. If she asks for your advice, don’t give it…say, “What do you think?” Or choose the one you don’t want her to wear, and then she’ll pick the one you do want.

Kids have so little control over their lives. Just let her wear what she wants, and let the natural consequences of her actions help her figure out how to make good decisions.

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