My sister had a baby a few months ago, and since then, my parents, who live in the same city, have spent a lot more time with her in the town where she lives, which is about an hour and a half away. I understand that they want to spend time with their grandchild, and I wish I could see him more, too. They are now buying a house two streets away from my sister, and I feel really hurt. I feel like I will not have the same support when I have a family, and that my future children will not have the same depth of relationship with my parents that my sister’s son will enjoy. I also feel like I will always be the one asked to travel for family events. My parents said they are “committed to a two-way relationship,” but I doubt it will apply to travel if everyone else lives in the same place.
I don’t want to feel left out. I love my family and I like spending time with them. I can’t move to the new town with them, because I have a long-term boyfriend who doesn’t want to move because of his job. I basically feel like this move is a great decision for everyone except me. My parents have always been very supportive of me, and I know if I made a fuss they would reconsider. Should I discuss how hurt I feel by this with my parents, or is it not really any of my business?
This move is going to be good for you.
You’re kind of a baby.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you’re the youngest in your family. This is, of course, based on no anecdotal evidence whatsoever from my husband, who is a youngest child, or my youngest sibling, who is perfect in every way. I will base this guess solely on the behavior of my youngest child, who had a temper tantrum yesterday when I wouldn’t allow him to push me down the stairs, so I RELENTED and let him push me. I let a two-year-old pretend to shove his mother headlong down a staircase. When he grows up to be a raging psychopath, you can place the blame solely on me.
I sympathize, I really do. I live near my mom, and my siblings live really far away, and sometimes when she makes me our favorite childhood chocolate cake, I feel bad that I get some and they don’t…and then I take a picture of it and text it to my brother with the words NARNY NARNY NOO NOO MOM MADE ME A CAKE. I would hate to be on the receiving end of that text. It’s a really good cake. But parents live the closest to the child they like best, and if they prefer your sister, the way my mom prefers me, then so be it.
Okay, really. Your parents want to be near their grandchild. You don’t even HAVE children. You’re not even thinking of having children yet! You’re getting upset and thinking of making a stink because your UNBORN CHILDREN might miss out on some time with their grandparents, who, by the way, aren’t moving to Siberia–they’re moving an hour and a half away!
I think you should be supportive of your parents’ move, and feel happy for your sister that they want to be near her. This really will be good for you. I think being on your own will help you grow up, which is something it seems like you really need to do.