My boyfriend is mean. Can I change him?

My boyfriend is rude, mean, and a complete narcissist. He puts people down constantly, talks about them behind their backs, and doesn’t get along well with others. He is insecure, has no friends, and is in constant stress about his job. I have good friends and a good job, and I think he is insecure and jealous about that. He moved into my apartment and convinced me to put him on my health insurance, but if I ask him to do something for me he says I am being demanding. I know he’ll never change. He is a lot of fun, and he is very committed to me and wants to be together forever, but I am starting to think the bad outweighs the good. Can I get him to see that he is not the wonderful partner he thinks he is? Can I get him to change?

Herpes is also very committed and will stick with you forever, but no one sees that as an attractive quality. Of course he wants to be with you forever! You put up with horrible behavior, you let him milk you for health insurance, and you gave him somewhere to live.

I think you know this already, but it’s time for you to break up with him. There are plenty of other fun people in the world who will also support you in your career, be cool around your friends (I’m sure your friends hate him. Even if they haven’t said anything, they HATE your boyfriend.), and do stuff for you when you ask because they love you.

You deserve someone great. Don’t settle. You can’t change people. They can only change themselves, and it doesn’t much sound like he wants to.

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