I moved with an old friend a few months ago. I knew she was slightly messy and a little bit crazy, but I am living far from home and I feel like I don’t have a lot of options in this city.
After a while I realized that she is a closet alcoholic, drinking all day, and she smokes pot, too. She’s really depressed and she was kind of mean to me last night and alluded to the fact that she didn’t want me there. I think the only reason she lets me live with her is because of the money.
What should I do? I feel so uncomfortable. I do have a brother who lives nearby, and I know he would let me stay with him happily, but he is married and has kids and I’m much younger and have a different lifestyle.
I just typed out maybe seventeen stories about insane roommates I’ve had. And then I remembered that some of them might read this. And then I remembered that I’ve also been an insane roommate, and demurred out of fear that one of them will try to get back at me by publicly sharing the story about the time I made out with her boyfriend (it was an accident!) or the time I told my roommate I was having a small birthday gathering for a friend and he came home to about fifty women and a giant chocolate cake in the shape of a penis.
Once, though, I lived with some crazy people, and of them was growing pot in his closet and I was not the kind of girl who lived with people who grew pot in their closets. Lucky for me, I had a cousin close by who let me crash at her house until I found somewhere else to live. This poor cousin had a young child, was pregnant, and was well beyond the stage in her life when anyone should be crashing anywhere near her. She also had a husband who was somewhat aware of the lunacy of her family but sure didn’t expect one of them to be sleeping in his living room on their pull-out couch. Thank God for her, and for him. They really saved me. This is what family is for.
Go to your brother’s. Do lots of chores, babysit for free, make soups and be sweet to his wife, and save some money for a deposit. Then you can choose your own roommate, or live by yourself. Don’t live somewhere that makes you unhappy if you have an alternative. Also, steal some of her pot before you go.