My mother is stalking me on the internet. I have a Twitter account that I never told her about, but she somehow found it and replies to every tweet I write. She is my Facebook friend, and she responds to every photo of me that’s tagged, every post, and every status update. She has even found other web sites where I comment under an alias, and writes comments in response to me. Sometimes she calls me to discuss things I’ve written online. She has probably located this web site and is anxiously waiting for you to tell me that because she is my mother, it’s her right to stalk me on the internet. How can I tell her to stop? We have a good relationship, but she is super-sensitive and if I confront her she would probably feel terrible and cry. I don’t want to make my mother cry, but I do want her to stop meddling in my every online move.
If you’re 14, you need to get over it. Mothers should stalk their minor children online. If you’re 34, however, we have some boundary issues…but I’m sure you knew that. I’m guessing your sad, sad mommy probably cries every time you’re like, “Mommy, I love you, but it’s hard to make love to my boyfriend while you’re sitting on the end of the bed crocheting a tea cozy.”
Here’s the thing with the internet: it’s out there. You put things on the internet, and people can read them. This might include your mother. (My own mother, for one, informed me that she doesn’t read To Chea anymore because I say “douchebag” too much. “It’s douchebag this, and douchebag that!” Why, yes it is.)
You have a decision to make. You can do one of the following:
1. Don’t put anything out there that you don’t want your mother to read.
2. Ignore her comments, keep saying and writing what you want to say and write, and carry on with your life.
3. Kindly mention to her that it makes you feel a little suffocated when she responds to every single thing you write on Twitter and Facebook and your fly-fishing online community and the Miley Cyrus fan club web site that you belong to. Ask her, gently and sweetly, to try and refrain from responding to everything, because it makes you feel like she’s spying on you. Then realize that even if she cries and swears to never look at your Facebook page again, she’ll keep doing it. Your friends and fellow fly-fishers just won’t realize it, which is probably what you really want, anyway.