I’ve been talking and texting for a couple weeks with someone my friend set me up with. He has been out of town so we were just communicating by phone, but he is coming back this weekend and we are supposed to go out. He has already annoyed me. He is pushy, wants to take me to a loud bar that I don’t like but he is insisting, and then sent me some weird text about how I can give him a back rub after we go out. He seems awful and I don’t want to upset him or my friend but because of his texts and calls I don’t want to go out with him. Can I cancel or is it rude to not give him a chance?
You will never have a relationship with this person, because you hate him before you’ve even gone anywhere with him. You wouldn’t eat a moldy bologna sandwich, because you know it’s bad and will make you sick, and you wouldn’t want to endure the suffering that comes after. This man is a bad bologna sandwich.
Do you know what’s going to happen if you go out with this boob? You’ll have a terrible time in a loud bar, shouting because you can’t even hear each other, while you resent him for not meeting your needs or caring about what you want. (This is the kind of stuff you get mad about after you’ve been with someone for fourteen years, not before you even know his middle name.) Then you’ll go have a boring dinner while you chug six bottles of wine to dull the pain because he won’t stop hinting that you need to give him a massage after dessert and the thought of touching any part of his body makes you want to set the restaurant on fire so you have a reason to escape.
Text him or call him and say you’re sorry, that you’re sure he’s very nice, and that Susan spoke so highly of him, but you’re just not feeling like a relationship is a possibility, and you don’t want to waste your time or his.