Tag Archives: how to ask girl out

I want to see her again, but I don’t have time.

I met a smart, cute, friendly girl last weekend at a happy hour. She is the friend of a friend (who I’m not even that great friends with) and I’d really like to see her again. However, I’ve been told by a female friend that I’m a little too formal/business-like when I ask girls out, and that I should take it more casually.

I live half an hour away from this girl, so a date can’t really be a spur of the moment thing. Also, this week I’m swamped with work meetings, and the next two weekends are booked with work and social obligations. I would really like to see her soon, though, and keep up our initial momentum. Would it be too forward to have dinner midweek? How do I keep this going? 

I’m suspicious that you’ve somehow found a time machine and are emailing me from the 1950s. From what I understand, these days, guys ask girls out by texting them things like, “Wanna hit it 2 morrow send me a pic of your boobies lol.”

Today, incidentally, is an anniversary of my first official date with my husband. We had met up with some friends for our first unofficial date, and the next day, he emailed me and said something along the lines of, “I had a great time last night, and I would like to see you again as soon as possible.” It was very nice, sweet, honest, and complimentary without being stalkerish, and it obviously worked. I think this is the way for you to go. (And unless you’re asking girls out for dinner by sending them meeting requests from your iCal, I don’t think formal is a problem. Wooing is nice. Your female friend probably has very low expectations.)

Call her and say, “I had such a nice time with you. I’m so busy with work for the next couple weekends, but I would love to see you as soon as possible. Want to have dinner next Wednesday?”

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I like the girl who makes my coffee. How do I ask her out?

If I have a crush on a coffee shop clerk, can you give me some good DOs and DON’Ts for asking her out?
As a former barista, I sure can. I’ll start with the don’ts.
DON’T:
  • ask for a stupid complicated drink because you’re trying to impress her with your knowledge of coffee. She’ll just think you’re a pain in the ass for asking for non-foamy-foam and half-soy half-decaf half-fat milk.
  • make ANY kind of sexual reference to ANY item in the coffee shop. No, “I love how you grind those beans. You’re a really good grinder. No, “How soft are those muffins? I love soft muffins. Can I pinch them?” No, “Do you like your coffee strong and black?” (Especially if you are strong and black. Actually, especially if you’re not strong and black.)
  • hold her up with your supposedly witty banter while you’re paying and there’s a line of 14 people behind you.
  • do anything creepy like sit at a table close to the cash register, stare at her, and lick your lips repeatedly and enthusiastically while she works.
  • ask her any personal questions (Do you have a boyfriend? What’s your bra size? Where do you live? No, I already know you live at 46 Grove Street, I just can’t figure out what floor you live on.)
  • repeatedly ask her out if she says no, or keep going in her coffee shop and making weird girlish mopey faces at her every time you order coffee thereafter.
  • tip her outrageously. Asking her out after that could make her feel hookerish.
DO:
  • ask her out if you have nice, normal conversations and she seems like she enjoys talking to you, not like she’s being nice to you just like she’s being nice to every other customer because that’s her job.
  • be subtle and normal about it. When she has a lull, is all by herself, and seems happy to talk to you, say, “Hey, that band we were talking about is playing next week. Want to go?” Or give her your card when you pay your bill and say, “I’d love to take you to a movie some time. Give me a call if you’d like to go.”

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