“Bob” and I dated for a while, and now “Tom” and I are dating. The breakup with Bob was mutual; Tom and I are having a great time getting to know each other. The problem is that we all work together, and I think Bob is starting to have some bad feelings about me dating Tom. I don’t know if he’s jealous, or territorial, or what, but I do like him and want him to be happy. Should I have said something to Bob before Tom and I made our relationship public? Did I breach some protocol here?
You’re allowed to date any man you please, but that’s not the problem here.
Stop dating people from work. I’m all for office romances; they’ve produced some of the most delightful couples I know. But your office isn’t your own personal dating service; the break room isn’t a pickup joint. I know it’s not fair, and it’s not right, and it shouldn’t be this way, but a woman taking the part of the company Casanova is not going to do the same things for your career that it might for a guy. It’s easy to get another boyfriend, but not so much another job.
Your private life is your business, but the minute you start skipping through the office halls holding hands with the second guy as many weeks, you might want to reconsider. If you think Tom is the love of your life, then fine, go for it. Don’t worry, Bob will get over it. But if it doesn’t work out, no more fishing in the company pond. No more.