Tag Archives: vodka

It’s graduation time! Kill me now.

My cousin invited me to her daughter’s high school graduation. It sounds incredibly boring and it’s really hot out this time of year. Do I have to go?

No. Just buy the graduate a bottle of Ketel One and she’ll forgive you for missing the ceremony. Buy her mother a bottle of Ketel One and she’ll forgive you for skipping an important moment in her daughter’s life and then illegally giving her vodka.

What’s an appropriate gift for a college graduate?

A job. Or a shiny new key chain for him so he can put the key to his parents’ basement on it, because that’s where he’ll be living if you don’t give him a job. Or a case of Cup O Noodles. Recent college graduates love those. Or a bottle of vodka.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized